“Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”
– James Allen
In Frogs into Princes, Bandler and Grinder state that modeling is not about what people say, it’s about what people do. But it is also about what people experience. You cannot know everything about a person’s state just by looking at them. But you also cannot learn everything from what they say, because most excellent performers do not fully, consciously understand why they are successful. The classic example of this is what happened with the modeling of Virginia Satir. She felt that the model of her effectiveness was superficial to what she was doing. It seems like crass manipulation. She attempted to demonstrate her work while leaving out the elements that Bandler had proposed. This included her mirroring and other techniques for establishing rapport. She found that she could not establish the same level of rapport and effectiveness when she withheld these behaviors.
To support our beliefs, there is a causal relationship for how we develop and support our ideas. This is a fancy way of saying that for every belief we hold, there is a cause for that belief.
We often will use words that connect the ideas, and to get to the underlying belief structure, it is important to know the connecting words that we use to describe this causal relationship. These words are because, while, therefore, before, after, in the same way, whenever, if, so that, although.
“I am successful because I don’t have children” and “I don’t go to a party if it is far away” are examples of these words connecting two facts, and it is this connection which reveals a belief. So if we can understand the cause, then we can understand the belief, and if we understand the belief, we can understand the behavior/feeling etc.
We can group the connecting words into four groups. While and whenever are considered constraining causes because they limit the cause for certain times or during certain events for something to be true.
“I am happy whenever I am with you” really means, “Your presence causes me to be happy.”
Before, after and because are precipitating causes as they tell us that one action or event is necessary for another to occur. “I am always nervous before exams” really means, “The anticipation of taking an exam causes me to be nervous.”
So that and therefore are final causes because they describe how the completion of one action or event leads to another. “The economy is bad, therefore less people have jobs” really means “The bad economy causes less people to be employed”. If and in the same way are formal causes as they are the formal expressions of cause-effect relationships.
“I’ll go to the cinema if the weather is bad” really means “The bad weather causes me to go to the cinema”. Although is also included in this group because it allows us to check and see if there are any potential constraints and/or counter examples which can help us check the strength and validity of our ideas.
The way a cause audit goes is you take a statement, whether it is a goal, limiting belief, resource, problem, or any cause you want to understand better, and that statement becomes the first half of a larger statement, that is connected by the connecting word. For example, “I want to become famous if/because/while/therefore/so that/in the same way…” and for each example, you complete the statement. Let’s look closer at what each statement asks for.
Because- this connector should answer why you want or have the goal/belief/resource or problem.
Therefore- explains an effect or requirement
Before/after- describes what has to happen before/after
While- describes what is happening at the same time
Whenever- describes some key conditions that are required
So that- describes the intention related
If- describes any related constraints or results
In the same way that- describes any similar past results that have already been achieved
Although- is to explore any alternatives or constraints that are related.
A predisposition is a tendency which is not yet a habit. It is when you hold a particular thought pattern and can’t let go of it or when you act in a particular way and catch yourself “too late.” This technique helps you abandon the predisposition by turning the compulsion into an aversion. In other words, it turns a specific thing or action you “like” into a “dislike.” Review your knowledge of sub-modalities before you try out this pattern.
Determine the problematic predisposition.
Think of something that you like doing or thinking, but wish you did not like. Can you define it in a statement?
Elicit the current sub-modalities (Image A).
As you think about this predisposition, elicit the sub-modalities of this mental image. Specifically, check for driver sub-modalities such as Size, Light, Distance, etc.
Elicit sub-modalities from the aversion image (Image B).
Now think of something you dislike and elicit the sub-modalities in that image. Again, specifically check for driver sub-modalities.
Change sub-modalities of the predisposition image.
Take the sub-modalities you’ve elicited from Image B and use them on Image A. If in Image B, for example, the image was to the left and 3 feet in size, make Image A go to the same location and enhance (or reduce) to the same size as image B. Work through all driver sub-modalities.
Lock the new sub-modalities firmly in place.
Imagine that you could “stamp” Image A as it is now with the copied sub-modalities of Image B, making the new sub-modalities locked in Image A firmly.
Now when you think about the thing you used to like doing or thinking, how is it different? If there is still a tendency to like doing or thinking X (image A content), go back through the steps and elicit more driver sub-modalities.
Imagine a realistic and specific time in the near future, when you might find yourself tempted to do or think X (image A content), can you feel the aversion?
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