Resolving Internal Conflicts

This technique helps with the very common problem of disagreement between parts. When you struggle with yourself to do or not do something, when you procrastinate and seem to be arguing with yourself in your mind, this is the pattern to use. 

The Conflict

Select a personal conflict. It may be something you’re ambivalent about, or some way that you sabotage yourself or cannot accept yourself.

A Memory

Recall a memory of experiencing this inner conflict. View it from the observer position.

Take a Side

Get into the first perceptual position with one side of the conflict. Step into the experience. 

Review the OTHER side of the conflict from this position. Notice what comes up during this in all sense modes.

Positive Intention

Still on that side, ask the other side to express all of its positive intentions, including any beliefs and goals that it can express to your side.


Now step into the other part. From this position, repeat steps three and four.

STEP#6. Repeat

Repeat this switching and receiving until both sides have a good understanding of each other. Be sure to include beliefs, values, and objectives.


Move to a meta-position above both parts. From there, ask the parts to propose solutions or outcomes that they expect to be satisfactory to both sides. Elicit concerns from either side about these ideas, and note any ecological issues. Do as much brain-storming as you need to in order to come up with a good collection of ideas. 

New Part

Notice how this new collection of ideas is an amalgam of the values and higher intentions of the two parts. It is also an agenda. Experience how it could be considered a part all on its own. Bring this part into your body and accept it as an important part.

Future Pace and Test

Imagine a future with this part creating results for you. Redo this process as needed for any ecological concerns or problems. Test it out in real life and come back to this process as needed.