Mutual Trust

This section is about initiating an effective relationship with a client; one that builds mutual trust and that establishes your competence in the eyes of the client. To achieve this, you need to generate positive states, expectations, and outcomes while building a constructive relationship. 


A valuable skill you will learn in this section is priming, which is a type of memory. 

Key to priming is cultivating a state in a particular time frame, regardless of how it is anchored. 

Priming often relies on implicit memory, which is an unconscious kind of memory. An interesting example of implicit memory can be found in product placement, in which advertisers pay for the appearance of products in movies and other formats. They spend a lot of money on this, because familiarity with a product primes the person to feel more positive about it when they encounter it, even if they don’t consciously remember ever seeing the product. 

NLP uses the term “priming” to refer to cultivating or triggering a state. Often, this involves unconscious, implicit memories. We begin to prime a client for a state by setting up the conditions that make it easy for them to go into that state. For example, expressing positive feelings and beliefs about a client’s identity and helping them to feel less threatened primes their “secure base.” 

A secure base tends to bring out more cooperative and creative behavior in a person. The research on subliminal stimulation for priming a secure base was a real breakthrough. But then, politicians and con artists have known for a long time that attacking the secure base makes people ready to make certain types of rash decisions that play into their hands. 

If people do not rush to war quickly enough, reason may set in and ruin the plan. When a client experiences a secure base, a resourceful state, a sense of mastery and other positive states when they work with you, you are making yourself into a trigger of positive states. 

This priming means that each time they see you, they will tend to experience resourceful states more easily and quickly. This means that your work will become more effective in that regard over time. This is a subtle and general kind of anchoring.