This technique shows how surprisingly easy it is to enhance your feelings of love and affection to your loved one, to extend infinitely a familiar and endearing intimacy. These exciting results are produced with nothing more than anchoring.
Clarify what you want to feel toward a special person.
Select a special person for this exercise, such as your significant other. List in your mind or on paper the feelings you would like to feel toward this person. Even though dynamics in the relationship may have caused some alienation, regaining these dear feelings can help you enhance the relationship. The usual way is to work on the relationship so that the feelings will return. This is a “bottom up” approach” because it emphasizes the somatic (physiology).
Elicit and focus on this loving state
Bring the feelings that you identified together in a loving state. Enhance that state by working with the sub-modalities that are most powerful in inducing this state. If the state is developing well, you will find it easier to forgive the other person’s faults and transgressions, if appropriate.
Enhance the state with future experiences.
Enhance the state further by imagining future experiences that you both enjoy together with a strong bond. Keep adding images, sounds, and feelings to these experiences until you get a sense of being in love throughout your body.
Once you have a strong state, anchor it.
Test the anchor.
After repeating step three and step four a few times (usually 10 or 12 times is plenty), test the anchor. Do this by breaking the state, then firing the anchor. If the anchor works, then you should feel a loving connection with this person. If you are not satisfied with the results, a likely reason is that you did not associate yourself fully in step three, or there was a problem with the anchor you chose.
Test for results.
Discover ways to use this process to enhance your relationship. For example, fire the anchor before working on communication with your partner. Notice how these explorations affect your relationship.
Use good judgement in choosing who to work with. Relationships with people who are typically manipulative, demeaning, or destructive are not appropriate. If you find that the state quickly evaporates as you interact with the person, this is most likely because aspects of the interaction trigger even more powerful negative states. You will need to change those anchors in order to elicit “antidote” states. For example, if you suddenly become defensive, then you will want to have that interaction generate an open, articulate state in which you are good at understanding, but also good at staying connected with your own reality.