Accelerate your maturation and emotional strength by drawing upon your adult resources to resolve unfinished emotional development. The value of good parenting resources, as conceptualized by NLP drives this pattern.

Create a chart of your unfulfilled childhood emotional needs and the corresponding characteristics your parents or caretakers needed in order to fulfill them appropriately.

On an imaginary blackboard or on paper, draw a line down the middle. 

On the left, list the emotional needs that were not fulfilled for you as a child. 

On the other, list the characteristics that your parents or caretakers needed in order to fulfill those needs. 

Build an ideal parent model and enhance it with any additional ideas.

Use these characteristics to build a mental model of ideal parents. 

Use all representational systems to experience these parents. 

Add anything else that you know about good parents or what you were missing. 

As you think of these perfect parents, any number of ideas may come to you. 

What would it be like to get help with homework in a really supportive way, or to be guided toward constructive behavior in a constructive way, or simply to get plenty of attention and desirable activity?

Visualize these parents expressing their parenting gifts.

Visualize these parents in action, handling situations that some parents would find challenging. See them being very successful and resourceful as parents. 

If you are working with a study group, or have friends or colleagues interested in this, discuss it with them to further enhance your model either during this pattern, or at another time for future use.

Timeline back to the day you were born. Transfer your powerful good parenting resources into your parents or caretakers.

Access your timeline and float back to the day you were born. Observe that experience as your adult self, bringing with you all the resources you have developed, including your ever-increasing understanding of good parenting. 

Allow the momentum and magic of all the resources you have brought back to imbue your parents with perfect parenting abilities. See all this resource energy flooding into this time from your future, swirling as it suddenly stops at this moment, drawn to your parents as vortices for their power. 

Even if you are not now connected to your parents, even if one or both of them were not present, create parents or caretakers for this scene.

Watch your life move forward with magically perfect parents who fulfill your needs appropriately.

Watch your life unfold forward into your timeline, but with these magically perfect parents. 

Observe how they fulfill your needs as an expression of their magical, yet human gifts. 

Re-calibrate your prior negative experiences.

Pay special attention to experiences that had been negative, and see how resourcefully your parents now deal with the situation. 

Let the positive outcomes build your positive abilities and personality characteristics as you further progress.

Follow your timeline into your present, in the state of receiving unconditional love.

Trigger your state of experiencing your parent’s new unconditional love, and tell your subconscious mind that these experiences can generalize, bringing your forward more and more rapidly, to your present time.

Integrate and Future Pace.

Continue to hold the anchor in your state of receiving unconditional love. 

Allow yourself to integrate these experiences and sensations, as your momentum carries you into future experiences. 

These future experiences show you how your expanded development will allow you to express wonderful resources for far better outcomes.

In the coming days or weeks, notice any ways that your relationships or care-taking behaviors improve, or ways that your personal boundaries become more effective.

Shared Resource

Improve the value of resourceful states by using various perceptual positions to experience and explore them. This technique uses a novel fourth position by invoking a felt sense of sameness between people that results from having been through the other three perceptual positions. 

We’ll draw from the principles of spatial sorting, psycho-geography, and somatic syntax. (For more on this, learn about embodied cognition.)

Select a resourceful experience and express it in body movements.

Do this exercise in pairs the first time through. 

Choose a recent experience that you found to be resourceful. 

Review it from first position (through your own eyes, etc.) 

Explore the body movements that somehow express that resourceful state.

Face your partner and begin imitating their movements.

Face your partner and do this movement pattern. 

Now, continuing in first position, imitate your partner’s body movements. 

Take on your partner’s experience and movements.

Switch positions with your partner, and go into second position, experiencing things through your partner’s eyes. 

Express your partner’s movements as though you were him or her. 

Notice any ways it changes how you experience these movements. 

Compare and contrast this with your own movements.

From the third position (outside observer), sense what makes your partner’s movements similar to and different from your own.

Facing the same directions, blend the two resource state movement patterns in a “we field.”

Go back to first position. Turn to be side by side with your partner. Make your resource movements again. Have your partner make their own version of the movements. Together, make small adjustments in your movements until you blend the two resource states through movement. What is it like to experience this shared space? We’ll call it the fourth position, or a “we field.”

Repeat with another pair, but with “we fields.”

The two of you are now to find another pair and repeat the pattern. This time, start with the movement that you created together. 

Continue to expand these joining experiences until the entire group is experiencing this fourth position.

Explore with the group what this “we field” is like. Notice in the coming days and weeks any ways that this technique has contributed to your ability to empathize, create rapport, and be intuitive.

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 98

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 97

Smart Eating

One of the key causes of excessive eating is poor awareness of when one is one is actually hungry as opposed to simply being tempted or using food as an antidote to stress. Another problem is that, although it can be appropriate to eat a number of smaller meals rather than three large meals per day, those small meals have excessive carbohydrates. Students and knowledge workers use a great deal of blood sugar because the brain consumes it for thinking in surprising amounts. Thus, they must be careful to avoid snacking beyond their actual needs, and to avoid a blood sugar roller coaster that is caused by consuming refined sugars and starchy food. The current “diabesity” (diabetes and obesity) epidemic (also known as syndrome X) is directly related to over-consumption of refined carbohydrates through products such as soft drinks.

How do you know it is time to eat?

Determine how you know that it is time to eat. Carefully look for the rep systems and sub-modalities involved. Include your internal feelings, such as tension, mental fog, and irritability. Be sure to include the feelings of your stomach. What does “empty” really feel like?

What would be best to eat?

Ask your inner wisdom, What would feel better to have eaten? That is, What would make me feel good after I ate it, in the short-term? Consider various foods that are available to you right now, and imagine that you are finishing eating them. Notice your most subtle feelings. You can find a range of feelings such as healthy and balanced, bogged down and sleepy, and very satisfied, but in a gluttonous way. Keep trying different foods until you find at least one that makes you feel very balanced and healthy. Inspect the rep systems and sub-modalities that tell you it is an ideal food. How do you “know” that you feel balanced and healthy? If none of these do this for you, then consider additional foods that are not available right now. 

Compare the before and after.

Compare this “ideal food” feeling with the feeling you had before you ate it, that is, the feeling that tells you it’s time to eat. Which one feels better? If the “before” feeling seems better, perhaps you should try out more imaginary foods to find something better. Or does it mean that you should simply wait longer before eating your ideal food?

Contrast with an unhealthy item.

Try comparing the “after” feeling with a not-so-healthy item, such as a candy bar. Carefully inspect the difference between these feelings. Go forward in time a few hours to see how the unhealthy item “after” feeling is. Go forward a few days and feel that result. How do these sensations compare to the feelings of step three?

Future Pace.

Once you have found food choices that make you feel balanced and healthy, see how many more food items you can think of that provide healthy, balanced feelings. Imagine making those food choices into the future. Amplify the healthy, balanced feelings and imagine them growing over time as you make these food choices. Imagine yourself as a very spry, active, bright elderly person with those healthy, balanced feelings surrounded by young people who are eager to gain wisdom from you.

Over the coming days and weeks, notice how this technique influences your food choices. Sense how those choices make you feel. See how you can enhance this technique so that it works best for you as an individual, getting the best effect upon your food choices and resulting energy and mental clarity.

Making it less comfortable to reach the type of food you want to avoid craving for is one very easy task. Simply stop buying it! Skip it when you get to the candy section in the supermarket. Another well-known nutrition trick for sweet craving is fruit juices and smoothies. I don’t have enough space in this book to explain it thoroughly, so just give it a try and see how it works for you. Do not buy concentrated juices and always read the labels. Even when it says “100% juice,” it might say “from concentrated” in small print. Another tip that helps me a lot in the morning—for an energetic wake up drink one glass of fresh orange juice, the squeezed type of course. It’s a rush, I guarantee it. One last advice—do not give up or avoid the foods you really love. If Pizza is your favorite food, go for it once a week. If your mind knows that you aren’t going to become a health freak (which can be a health risk, itself), it will become more and more patient through the week and will let you lose the weight, knowing that once a week you’re going to enjoy your favorite indulgences. Of course, don’t go overboard here! But don’t make it a stressful change.

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 96

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 95

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 94

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 93

Spelling Strategy

This technique improves your spelling. We use a lot of the internal visual modality in this pattern. Even if you consider yourself to be more of an “auditory” or “kinesthetic” person, try this method and see how well it is working for you. There’s a lot to be said about people who stubbornly cling to their most favorite modality and almost refuse to be flexible about it, but we’ll leave it to online arguments and discussions. Do not fall into this trap—even if your most frequently used modality has been auditory, you can still use well successful strategies that depend mostly on the visual modality, such as this spelling strategy. 

View the word.

Look at the word on paper or on screen, spelled correctly.


With your eyes closed, recall a familiar, relaxing experience. 

Once you have a strong sense of the feeling, open your eyes, and look at the word.

Picture the word.

Look up and left, mentally picturing the correct spelling.

Clear your mind.

Open and close your eyes rapidly, get up, move around if you have to.

Picture the word and write it down. Check it.

Look back up and left at your mental picture of the word. 

Write it down, as if you were transcribing from that image. 

Check the spelling against the correct spelling. 

If it is wrong, go to step one.

Picture the word and write it backwards. Check it.

Return your gaze up and left to your mental picture of the word. 

This time, write it backwards, from right to left. 

Check the spelling and return to step three if it is incorrect.

Imagine the word in the color that most fits the word. Maybe ludicrous should be purple. 

When you form the word in your mind, form each letter one at a time, in a font that is very different from a typical font. If there is a letter or letter combination that you tend to get wrong when you spell the word, make those letters big and bright compared to the rest of the word when you picture it. As you picture the word, build it one syllable at a time. 

Make sure that as you imagine the word, it fits in your mental view. 

You can experiment with seeing the letters forming a circle and filling your view. 

Use your finger to trace the letters in front of you, picturing your finger actually painting the letters as if on a canvas.

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 92

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 91

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 90

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 89

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 88

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 87

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 86

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 85

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 84

Fundamentals of NLP – Chapter 83