Source: Richard Bandler & John Grinder

Select a behavior you dislike.

Identify the part.

Identify the positive intention.

Identify the frame.

De-frame the part.

Reframe the behavior and intention (content).

Reframe the usefulness in terms of situations (context).

Integrate the reframe.

Test the reframe.

A frame in NLP refers to the way you put boundaries around what you consider. It’s impossible to consider every piece of information in your world in order to make a decision, so no matter what you think about anything, there is a frame.

Step 1: Pick a behavior that you despise. #

Step 2: Identify the part. #

Note the aspect of you that produces this behavior. Think in terms of parts. Name that part.

Step 3: Determine the positive intent. #

Figure out the part’s positive intent in producing this behavior.

Step 4: Determine the frame. #

What is the frame around the intention and behavior? You can see this by discovering the presuppositions behind the part’s sense of mission and its behavior in service of that mission (In the examples we provided, one person thought he was defective because he couldn’t get out of bed, and another seemed to think he had complete control over tobacco in order to justify a small amount of smoking).

Step 5: De-frame the part. #

How can you expand the part’s perspective? Try to find sub-modality shifts that will have an impact on this.  You can also ask what the behavior and intentions mean to you. You can simply ask, “What else could this mean?”

Step 6: Reframe the behavior as well as the intention (content). #

Find a way, however slight, that you can react positively to the part’s intentions or to the behavior.

Step 7: Reframe the usefulness in terms of situations (context). #

How might this behavior actually serve you in some situations? Connect with how this might feel good or appropriate. Remember that the behavior may need to take a different form, or even cease, depending on what it is. You may also find that the underlying motivations can be expressed very differently, so that the behavior is easy to change or eliminate once you learn to satisfy the underlying motivation.

Step 8: Apply the reframe. #

Give yourself permission to make use of this new reframe. Although you may not approve of the way the intention is expressed in some situations, you can now make a good connection with the reframe because it highlights the positive aspect of the behavior. Think of ways that you can express the motivation in a more useful way or ways that you can direct the behavior in a more useful way.

Step 9: Test the reframe. #

How do you feel now when you think back on the behavior? How do you feel about the part? If your self-esteem has improved or you feel less in conflict with yourself, that is a good sign that the pattern has been useful. If you have actually come up with a revolutionary and positive way to utilize the underlying motivations, that’s even better.