The desired state-how you think and feel in the moment, in the best way to support your most desired outcomes-is the ultimate goal of NLP. What that state is depends on the individual, but the whole idea behind NLP is to promote excellence, and this is achieved by being in an excellent state, that is, the desired state. We can contrast the desired state with the present or problem state, that is, where we are today and how that state can be improved upon. You might think that it is easy to determine the desired state, but you need to pay attention to some important details in order to really achieve the state that is most desired. To really find the desired state, ask these questions:

What specific outcome do you want to achieve? “Being happy” is not specific. “Feeling good about myself when I’m at work” is

How would you know if you achieved this outcome? Again, get specific details. Ask the person to describe what the situation would look, sound, feel, or even smell like. Who would be there? What would they look like?

What would happen if you achieved this outcome? Focus on the effects, as this not only makes the outcome more desirable, but there might be some other unintended and unwanted consequences of the outcome.

In what contexts do you want this outcome? This helps build a mental picture of the desired state taking place.

Is there any context where you don’t want the outcome? Counter examples can help define the desired state.

Has there ever been a time when you had this outcome? How did you know you had it? Past experiences can be extremely helpful in creating future outcomes.

Can you get curious instantly?