When embedded commands appear in questions, they have the added benefit of priming a more open, curious state. The question helps to conceal the embedded command as well. Here are examples:

“I’m wondering whether you would feel completely comfortable speaking with me.”

“Do you know if you can quietly allow your unconscious mind to come out and talk to me?”

Select a situation to use embedded commands in. Write down a number of things that you would like to communicate, but that might arouse inappropriate defenses. Continue accumulating these until you have several that you feel can be converted into embedded messages. Make sure that your approach is ethical. You must not attempt to manipulate a person in a manner that is not in their best interest.

Create questions that could be normal-sounding parts of your communication with this person and that include your embedded commands. Remember, embedded commands are usually very short sentences or sentence fragments with the meaning that you want. If necessary, review material on Milton Erickson’s use of embedded commands. Before using this approach, practice delivering these communications. Try them with several different embedded commands.

Add analogical markings (see the pattern above), such as including changing your inflection, tempo, body language, and volume. Once you feel that this can be done in a way that is very natural, use this approach in the current situation. Notice how the person responds. Were there any awkward moments or looks?

Does the person respond in any way that suggests your approach was helpful? Continue to refine and practice your use of analogical marking until you are able to do it without preparing in advance.