Source: Richard Bandler & John Grinder
Elicit meta-model information.
Identify higher logical level elements to the arguments, and reflect this. Attempt to get a solution from this.
If this is not yet possible, elicit a more productive state and move to higher-level motivations.
Get clear expressions of these higher outcomes from the parties.
Confirm agreements that exist at higher levels, establishing a yes set. Again, seek to resolve the conflict.
Follow up as needed.
An ongoing disagreement, or a long-lasting conflict between two people, can often be resolved by taking the discussion to a higher logical level (see appendix). This pattern uses logical levels to facilitate agreements. It can be useful in mediation and with groups.
Step 1: Elicit meta-model information. #
The following elements of questioning will help you create a meta-model of each party’s position, as well as get the information you need in order to pace them and develop the rapport that you will need as a credible change agent. Ask each person to reduce their argument to the outcomes they want. Have them specify the values and beliefs underling the outcome. Determine what is most significant and valuable about those values and beliefs. Ask any additional questions that will help create a well-formed meta-model.
Step 2: Recognize and reflect on higher-level logical elements in the arguments. #
Notice the elements that their arguments have in common, and identify which of those occur at higher logical levels (see the appendix). Explain their positions in terms of higher-level agreements. See if you or the other parties can propose a solution that everyone can agree on.
Step 3: If this is not yet possible, elicit a more productive state and move to higher-level motivations. #
If it is too soon for such an agreement, consider the following: The more high-level agreements that you have brought to their attention, the smaller their disagreements will appear to them. The more you emphasize their most mature, intelligent agreements, the more you will be priming a mature, intelligent state for them to draw upon in resolving the problem. Help them come up with potential solutions by drawing upon these resources. Appeal to commonalties at a higher level than the one you previously appealed to in step two.
Step 4: Obtain clear statements from the parties expressing their desire for these better outcomes. #
Have the parties express their meta-outcomes, that is, outcomes at a higher level than the ones specified. This process was started in step one, but was not made into detailed outcomes.
Step 5: Confirm agreements that exist at higher levels, establishing a “Yes” set. #
Again, seek to resolve the conflict. Get everyone into a yes set, continuously confirming agreements at these higher levels. When possible, seek specific agreements that will resolve the conflict.
Step 6: As needed, follow up. #
Once you have achieved an agreement, follow up to see if it is working out. You can establish a timeline for follow-up with the parties involved.