One quick way to handle and deal with a negative internal voice is to join it. This is kind of what they teach in Judo, using the momentum of the opponent to drop him to the ground. It’s possible to join in with a voice by adding to what it says, rather than simply echoing what it says. This can be done by making the words harsher and more dramatic or by amplifying other nonverbal aspects of the voice, such as volume or intonation. In essence, joining the voice exaggerates the self-talk and takes it up a few notches.

If the internal voice says, “You are such a loser! Look at what you’ve done! You should be ashamed of yourself! “), the common automatic response is fight or flight, looking for distractions or caving in with pain and guilt.

What if, instead of the automatic response, you join the voice and say to it, much louder and in a much more authoritative tone of voice than the despairing voice used: “You bet I am!I worked hard to become a world-class loser! You know how much effort it takes? And boy, am I not over yet… I am hoping to be the biggest loser this world has ever seen, and I will do so much that even when I succeed in something, it will not take away my greatest losses… ashamed? Oh, no!I’m proud of it! I want more! More! Moreeeeeee! "

This approach must be consistent in order to work well in the long term. It means that whatever that nagging voice is saying, you immediately take it further, to more extremes, and emphasize all the things that it wants you to feel bad about. This creates cognitive dissonance.

That negative voice’s aim was to criticize you and put you in your place, ideally minimizing the chances of you taking a risk and getting hurt again. Yes, it has a positive intention: to protect you from potential future harm. But it goes about it in a way that is less than ideal, especially since in order to get anywhere good in life, we do have to take risks and experience failures. Joining in and using a hyperbole statement singles out the voice’s message as irrelevant. It would be the same as if you were tackled by a bully in school, but instead of caving in or protesting, you took it to the extremes and kept going at him, even though he was stronger than you, and you never admitted losing the fight. In fact, you do not surrender; you keep going as if it’s not over yet. The bully will have fun in the beginning, but soon enough he will get either too annoyed with the exhaustive measures or discouraged by your lack of fear of him. Hyperbole works with external and internal bullies.