Source: Erickson Institute

At some level, all beliefs are, or were, intended to be positive at some point in time. When considered from the perspective of the person whose behavior is being discussed, it is or was viewed as appropriate given the circumstances in which it was established. Responding to the intent of a problematic belief rather than the expression of a problematic belief is less painful and more beneficial. By identifying the constructive aim underlying a limiting belief, you can free up enormous amounts of energy and focus on a positive outcome.

Step 1: Briefly describe the issue in sufficient detail to ensure that it is crystal clear in your mind. #

It could be a circumstance, a legitimate concern, or a difficulty. Focus on characterizing ineffective behavior. Determine why the behavior is ineffective.

Step 2: Take a few moments to unwind, deepen your breaths, and sit quietly. #

Now, imagine that your mind is equipped with special internal messengers. They are known as “parts” in NLP. These are the parts of your personality that exhibit distinctive tendencies, self-talk, and behavioral patterns.

Step 3: Determine which part is causing the dysfunctional behavior. #

Bring this part into consciousness as if it were an actual character. Bear in mind that each part represents an aspect of you. It is a collection of motivating factors that are in sync with one another. A part is similar to a micro-personality that exists within you. To be satisfied and aligned, you must avoid working in opposition to your own interests. This necessitates bargaining or collaboration on your part.

Step 4: Consider the possibility of using this part to create a role-playing game. #

Inquire of the part what it desired by engaging in that negative behavior or attitude. What was the purpose or benefit of this? “What did you want me to experience by doing this?”

Step 5: Allow yourself as much time as necessary to imagine and listen to the response of the parts. #

Do not go into blaming mode. The point is not to shame that part or control it, but to be curious about its intended effect.

Step 6: Continue to ask “why” and “what” questions to get a better understanding of the motivations. #

Each answer should be recycled into a new question.

Step 7: Continue in this manner until you believe you have reached the heart of the matter. #

The core beliefs, along with the core values, and the core reasons for the behaviors or attitudes that, at first glance, appear to be unsupportive of you, should all be identified and addressed in depth.