Not all your mirroring has to use the same parts of the body, just as your symbolic mirroring does not necessarily use exactly the same words. For example, NLP teaches that you can make a motion, such as finger taps, that matches the rhythm of the breath, rather than match the breath timing with your breath. This is called an “exchange match.”

You are exchanging body parts while matching the rhythm or another aspect of mirroring.If you are a man and you’re attempting to match the woman in front of you, avoid looking at her breasts while trying to figure out her breathing pattern!

You will get caught, and using the excuse, “I was trying to match your breathing.” will not work in this case. By looking at her shoulders instead, those tiny movements up and down will give you a hint of the breathing pattern she is using, and by applying exchanged matching, you can move your leg or hand up and down accordingly.

You will be surprised to find out that in such a case of an exchanged match of a breathing pattern, if you increase the speed of your matched movement, their breathing becomes faster! And if you slow it down, their breathing also becomes deeper and slower.

Have you ever noticed how, when an angry person is yelling and making a scene, someone will try to calm them down by moving their hands palms-down in a rhythmic motion and saying something like, “Hey, slow down, it’s okay, we can find a solution to this problem.”