This pattern is designed to eliminate cyber-porn addiction, a widespread problem that has a tremendous impact on productivity and peace of mind. It is not intended as a judgement about pornography, but rather as help for those who are experiencing a loss of control. This pattern is not offered as a substitute for professional help. If this may be necessary, we encourage you to seek it.
Step 1: Make an image of the unwanted associated compulsion. #
Think of the last time you masturbated to online porn. Step into the experience, experiencing it from the first perceptual position. That means seeing what you saw back then. Listen to what you hear and feel what you feel.Imagine it as if it is happening right now. If this step is unpleasant, please understand that this is the only unpleasant step in the pattern. Notice where exactly in your body the compulsive feeling begins. Intensify this sensation so that it tells you exactly where it is located in your body. Notice what images you see while you’re feeling this. One image might be more repeatable than the rest. What sounds are associated with this image? Make sure that the pornographic media is included in this image. Make a mental note of this image and the associated sounds and feelings.
Step 2: Break the state. #
Step out of feeling compelled to masturbate with online porn. To break state, stand up, move around, open your eyes, blink faster, move your facial muscles, wave with your right hand, stretch your left, lift your right knee upward, say your birthday date out loud, think of green, think about how a UPS truck looks, and think about what you ate for breakfast today.
Step 3: Develop a more positive self-image. #
Now you’re going to create a strong, resourceful, and positive self-image. This resourceful image will restore your self-control. Imagine how you would look if you had a better hobby, that is, a positive compulsion. The best way to destroy a negative compulsion is to replace it with a positive one so that you feel complete. You can choose any positive habit that comes to mind, preferably one that you enjoy but have neglected due to your online porn addiction.How would you talk? What would your voice sound like? How would you dress, walk, run, and drive? How would you feel in new situations if you owned that positive compulsion? That image is the near future image of you; the person who has solved that big issue of changing a negative compulsion to a positive one. He or she doesn’t care about who or what caused the porn compulsion. He or she can’t tell why their past porn compulsion is gone, as they now have a favorite positive compulsion. We call this image the “near future you” to imply that you are already beginning to experience this new sense of self. Build that image right in front of you. Make it a life-sized, bright, colorful image of you as a person with so many resources, abilities, and self-esteem that you can face the hardest challenges and conquer them all. Experience yourself as a person who has plenty of choices in life and who has an amazing ability to create more choices. See yourself as a person who has a positive compulsion; the one you selected during this pattern. Look at that image, letting yourself feel its attractive power. Connect with how intensely you really need to be that way. This is important. If you cannot feel it at the moment, go back and make the image stronger. Make it larger, brighter, and more powerful. If you were to see that image of yourself in the same way that you view people that you admire, how would you appear? Imagine all the porn-addicted people in the world looking at you with true admiration because of your self-respect, self-control, and resulting success. Imagine your positive interests leading you to increased health, better sexual relationships, and greater self-respect. Put a mysterious smile on that image of yourself. Imagine you can hear yourself think, “I feel good being me.” Imagine the tone of your voice. Experience the attractiveness of this person you have become. Experience the attractiveness of this way of feeling. Imagine those words, “I feel good being me.” happening all around you, bathing you in these good feelings as though you could soak them up.
Step 4: Establish the new self-image. #
Make a mental frame around that image of you with your new positive compulsion. Shrink it down to a tiny little picture in the open space in front of you. Don’t let it stand there quietly! Make it sparkle and flash at you. Take that sparkling little dot in the distant space in front of you and jump it quickly back to its previous size. big, life-sized, and colorful. Enjoy experiencing the image (including your mysterious smile) and the words, “I feel good to be me.” surrounding you. Open your eyes for a moment, then close them, thinking of a black screen. Now see that dissociated positive image again. Shrink it again so it becomes a tiny black dot blinking in the distance in front of you. Now bring it back quickly to its normal size. Continue shrinking and expanding it, really putting your heart into it.
Step 5: Begin the change. #
At the beginning of this process, shrink back the dissociated positive compulsion image and place it right in the middle of the disturbing image that you discovered. Swish the images around. Simultaneously, rapidly expand the tiny dot into a full-size image of your dissociated positive compulsion image, until it completely covers the negative image of the compulsion.Make it larger and brighter, with the stereoscopic “I feel good about me.” and your mysterious smile as before. Practice doing the two movements simultaneously. Put the negative image in front of you with the black, blinking dot (the dissociated positive compulsion image) in the middle. Now quickly SWISH them: shrink the first one quickly, and as you do this, enlarge the tiny dot onto the full-size confident new positive compulsion image, along with its sounds and feelings. It helps you do this with speed and gusto when you say “SWISH!” and snap your fingers when you do it. It is critical that you do not swish the images back! Open your eyes right after you’ve done the swish and experience the positive image in full color and loudness, including the sound of, “I feel good to be me.” Open your eyes, blink for a second, and close them again. See the negative image with the blinking dot on it? Say “swish” while you snap your fingers. Swish the images again, bringing the positive image to life. Let the good feelings from the positive image move all over your body. We’re half way through.
Step 7: Make the change! #
Open your eyes, move around a bit. Close your eyes. Imagine a blank screen. Do the swish ten times as fast as you can. Do this powerfully, with as much emotion, enthusiasm, and determination as you can muster. Use your desire to put an end to the negative image in your life as your source of intensity. You can generate intensity by realizing how much this compulsion has taken from you. Remember: Negative Image: Black Blinking Dot-SWISH and Finger Snap-Big, colorful and positive image, stereo, “I feel good being me,” he smiles, mysteriously. Open eyes, close eyes-blank black screen-back to the beginning. Good!
Step 8: Generate pleasure. #
Now, we will attach that new, pleasurable, compelling, dissociated, positive compulsion image to everything in your life. Reach out with your hands and grab the strong, dissociated, positive compulsion image like you would grab a big mirror. Grab it, lift it, and you’ll notice something new: it’s hiding thousands of thousands of high self-esteem, dissociated, positive compulsion images!They were hiding there all that time to surprise you! Experience images of yourself as a strong, committed, powerful, happy, thrilled, popular, excited, and successful person in everything you do in life.As you lift the image, all the other images are lifted with it. Smile at yourself, get some momentum, and throw it up high above you. Everything is spread out in the open air above your head. A split-second later, they all fall down, spreading all around you. In front of you, representing your future, are thousands of them, covering the ground. Just around you, there are a couple thousand more. Around you, as you look back on your past time line, hiding behind your back, are thousands more. Consider each one to be framed by a blinking, shiny frame yelling for attention!Know that it will be amazing to face challenges in your future where all that your mind can remember is how powerful and strong you are. It’s almost more pleasure than you can contain. The images behind you rule the earth, covering and hiding the small, weak negative images. The images control the past now. They blink, craving attention everywhere you look. Because, as you try to find a negative memory, all the blinking positive images interrupt the search. They yell at you, “Look at me! I feel GOROOOD being me! " Play around, pick one up, see the mysterious smile, hear the stereo effect voice around you, see the image as it grows and gets brighter. Now imagine yourself waking up in the morning, eating breakfast, and seeing your positive images all over the place, blinking and yelling for your attention. You can open your eyes now and look around.
Step 9: Test. #
Take a moment (not too long) and think about your computer. If you can, sit in front of your computer. Do you feel compelled to masturbate or to do something else? In the coming days and weeks, see if you experience your computer life differently. If you can’t remember the negative image clearly, or you did but didn’t feel off balance, then these are signs of success. If you still feel compelled to cyber-porn, seek the advice of a professional.