Source: Robert Dilts (an adaptation of Characterological Adjective)

This pattern helps you identify characterological adjectives (CA’s). Ca’s encode the basic characteristics of relationships. Each CA implies a counterpart. For example, the CA of “victim” implies the counterpart of “victimizer.” Getting to the essence of a dyadic relationship opens the gateway to understanding the dynamics of the relationship and how the two parties contribute to enduring patterns, including dysfunctional ones.

Step 1: Pick a difficult person or situation to work with. #

Come up with a person that you have trouble communicating with or a situation that gets in the way of you being creative and productive in getting desirable results. In such a situation, you would feel stuck.

Step 2: Find a typifying word in the third position. #

Imagine that you are observing the situation from a seat in a movie theater. Allow your mind to come up with a word that captures the essence of the situation, such as “obstructive” or “narcissistic.”

Step 3: Place yourself on the screen in this situation. #

Observe your own behavior and come up with a word that captures the essence of your reactions and involvement with this situation or person. For example, “reactive” or “gullible.”

Step 4: Isolate the CA’s. #

Think of the two words or phrases that you came up with, such as “obstructive” and “reactive” or “narcissistic” and “gullible.” Take note of how these two words or phrases are antonyms for one another. You have gotten to the essence of the dyad by isolating the characterological adjectives.