In a therapy session, we often ask the client to become somewhat vulnerable and reveal unfavorable NLP practitioner of their personality or past behavior. Rapport is obviously a helpful tool to facilitate trustworthiness, and there is also a linguistic syntax we can use to soften hard questions. The formula is:

Open Softener (first perceptual position) + the hard question + Closing Softener (optional)

Open Softeners: “I am wondering…”, “I’m curious to know…”, I wonder if you can tell me…”, “I would like to ask you…”

Closing Softeners: “… if you don’t mind me asking?”, “… if it’s alright with you?”, “…if you are ready to speak about it now?”

For example, notice the difference between the two hard questions:

Step 1: “How did respond the moment your boss touched you inappropriately? #

”

Step 2: “I wonder if you can (a deliberate pause) tell me (pause) How did respond the moment your boss touched you inappropriately (pause), if you are ready to (pause) speak about it now? #

”