Although there are many ways to convey or encourage feelings with gestures, this system highlights a style that conforms to some things that people commonly experience because of the bio-psychological sources, encoding, and interpretation of emotion.

There is some cultural conditioning in emotion, even to the point that there are psychosomatic conditions that often appear in some cultures that are not evident in others, but this approach can easily be modified for the individual client or general culture.

As you talk with your client, consider what emotions they are not aware of. Decide which ones you want to express the most. For example, a client may be trying to hold it together after a devastating loss when you know they would benefit from sharing and expressing their feelings. Say something to show you understand their situation.

Include body language and a gesture that expresses the kind of feeling you are allowing. Let’s say you want to show your awareness and understanding by asking how much support she has or how she is doing. Start by expressing your shock at what happened. You may show a slight scrunching of the face and pull your head back, as if suddenly exposed to bright light or heat. This captures the shock and difficulty of first realizing a loss. With moderately open eyes and a slight nod, you might convey that you are unflinchingly prepared to discuss the loss without making the client feel responsible for your feelings or forced to be indirect. You are also preparing the client to deal with the loss in whatever way is required. Immediately after such a move, take a deep breath and relax your body, hoping that the client’s chest will begin to relax as well. This can lead to feelings of grief and affection for the person with whom they are conversing. Then you could relate it to the loss. (( You go from shock to significance and challenge this way. A more intervention based NLP approach may not be appropriate in the most acute period of a traumatic or grief experience. At that point, you could make a gentle protective gesture, like cupping your hands around your heart and bending slightly at the solar plexus to show mature concern.

A slight sideways tilt of the head creates an even more non-threatening and understanding quality. You might say, “Ooh,” (face scrunched and pulled back, inhale so you can do the release in a moment) you actually saw (opening back up and slight nod, relaxed chest exhale) the fatal crash. It’s (heart directed gesture, slight forward fold at solar plexus, head a little to the side) hard enough to lose someone, not to mention Well, can you tell me a little about who is with you to be supportive during all this? I know your daughter brought you in today. "